(607): So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.(607): These are the moments that bond souls forever.
[Need source]

(607): So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
(607): These are the moments that bond souls forever.

[Need source]


(845): He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
[Source]

(845): He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought

[Source]


(732): FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
[Source]

(732): FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY

[Source]


(979): It’s been hot as balls outside. It’s like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
[Source (dead link)]

(979): It’s been hot as balls outside. It’s like getting tea bagged by the Sun.

[Source (dead link)]


(315): I’m wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
[Source]

(315): I’m wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

[Source]


(618): He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time.  He might be a fucking super hero(618): I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
[Source]

(618): He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time.  He might be a fucking super hero
(618): I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.

[Source]


(519): was it more than 30 minutes?(416): ya(519): then you’re in a relationship
[Source]

(519): was it more than 30 minutes?
(416): ya
(519): then you’re in a relationship

[Source]


(978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
[Source]

(978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

[Source]


(267): of course we have a beer bong(267): how else would we feed our christmas tree
[Source]

(267): of course we have a beer bong
(267): how else would we feed our christmas tree

[Source]


(+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
[Source]

(+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

[Source]


(719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
[Source]

(719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

[Source]


(902): I’ll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
[Source]

(902): I’ll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

[Source]


(914):  I’m sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
[Source]

(914):  I’m sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.

[Source]


(757): Come on the kid is gayer than me(757): Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt 
[From Persona 4 The Animation, episode 25]

(757): Come on the kid is gayer than me
(757): Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt 

[From Persona 4 The Animation, episode 25]


(516): i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
[Source]

(516): i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal

[Source]