Texts from the Midnight Channel

(916): keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something

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(914): Well at least you learned that cops don’t like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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(937): I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay

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(+44): You rubbed your penis on my leg and said “people have paid for this kind of action”

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(517): I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors

firebreathfishslap: I saw this text on TFLN and this is the image that popped into my head. I’m so sorry.

[Our first submission! Thanks so much! - Hex]

(859): I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.

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(914): I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.

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(603): If you’re knocked up, we’re telling everyone it’s mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.

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(601): When you get home there will be live fish in the  bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.

[Screenshot from anime, episode needed]

(503): I’d hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies

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(775): He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless

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(810): Don’t look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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(503): So… Apparently, “Home” isn’t the correct response when a cop asks for your address…

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(563): I just told him that with every paper, I’d take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say’s I can’t be a tutor?

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(615): The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy

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